Stepping Stones

Wow. Something struck me hard today. We are doing what we do every Mothers Day - spend it with Mom. Last year I was just in a huge fog. I didn't even know who I was or what I was supposed to be doing. Yet here I am again. I'm so very lucky to be in the middle of the most important women in my life; my mother and my daughter!

I woke up this morning in my room at Mom's with as always my pillows long ways so I have 'someone' to snuggle. I don't know if that will ever go away but it is soothing for me. I woke up remembering all kinds of things but that is a normal morning for me and that's okay. We've had a very nice day. So different yet the same.

Two years ago Scott, Hannah and I made these stepping stones for Mom and Grams and they are still displayed prominently in Mom's garden. I walk pass them, smile and tear up still. I wish so much to rewind but I know I have to live forward. So I celebrate My Mom and being a Mom to my beautiful daughter!

I know I am so fortunate to have been loved so deeply by my Grandmother and Scott. They gave me the strength to live! Now I hope I can continue to honor their love for me by living forward. Tonight we went to dinner at a great little Thai place. Suddenly in walk two of Mom's friends whom we ran into last Mother's Day in a different restaurant. I don't understand why but it seems to have a meaning.

As I sit outside on the swing looking up at the big Texas Sky I know there is more in store. It doesn't change the fact I miss being held and loved like that though. It always seems to be the special memories and dates will be destined for a moment of tears. I can only hope that someone will reach out and hold my hand again someday.