Draft Day

Today was another milestone day in many ways. We had some estate business to finish so I met Laynie's Mom and she had Laynie with her. Hannah and Laynie got to see each other today for the first time in 4.5 months. They were both so very excited to be together again today for just a bit. They love each other so very much. We had lunch and did the one thing that has stressed me out. His funeral is completely paid for. Thank you to so very many people but mostly Steven Carter and the gang at Brazos Children's Center. I can never thank you all enough for your final gift to Scott. The power of love comes in many forms.

It may seem morbid but my final resting place will be right next to Scott. I don't want to hear things will change, you are young! Scott is where I will always belong and even if someone new comes along they will have to be okay with that just as Scott was okay with Mike being in my life because he is Hannah's father. If you really love someone those things are understood.

Then it was back home to finish the Texas Gridiron Fantasy Football League paperwork. It is a strange thing to inherit - a fantasy football league but today was exactly how he would have wanted it to be. The guys had a surprise for me! They had these really cool burnt orange (UT colors) with white lettering made. The front says Texas Gridiron League 2010 First Commemorative Draft. On the back it a great picture of Scott at the NFL Hall of Fame in Canton, OH standing next to Bobby Layne's statue. Underneath it says "It's a "Korny" kind of league. The guys all had jean shorts on because that was Scott's uniform. If you know him you can picture him. I had arrived in the t-shirt he always wore to drafts. Yes I have lost enough weight to wear some of his clothes. It was a first to leave the house in them though.

Now I have to say I had help getting the sheets together with all the stats on them. My bosses husband Is a sports writer for our local paper and does his own Fantasy Drafts. Insert BIG GRIN HERE. I sent him my picks after we were finished apparently I done good ;-) I've helped Scott do that and wrote them down for him while he spewed for his statistical knowledge but I have not a clue as to how to put those stats down that way. I do understand yardage, sacks, touchdowns and all the rest so once I had it organized I was able to pick with a bit of help from Mike keeping track of where we were in the draft. I was also at the same time putting everyone's picks into the computer so it would all be good to go for the first game of the season. Now I channeled Scott through most of this I'm sure because I looked at the list baffled and I was told once again what to do. They might be humoring me but they did tell me I did a pretty good job. We shall see when the season actually starts.

It was laughter and tears today for me. He would stand behind me against the wall where I sat today. I could feel him over my shoulder standing there laughing, joking and picking right along with the rest of the guys. We had so much fun then I had to leave to come home alone. I can picture driving home with him last year and the year before. Right now as I'm sitting here on the couch I can feel his arms around me holding me close. I will make life happen with his presence. I will learn to conquer more then I have and I continue to face the days of milestones. The first year has many of them but I will keep living forward. He wants me to live and live life to the fullest not sit around the house like a hermit. So today was all about Scott. So much so that Hannah's friend Alexis put a Buzz Lightyear on my keyring for me today also! He will never be forgotten!