Spriitual Treasures

Today was another one of those days. I have been busy all day. Exhausted but busy. I had to do a few chores related to the estate this morning. Three banks and four hours later we are a bit closer. It is stressful but I'm glad it gives me something to focus on in besides my grief. I've got things that I need to do for Laynie and I. The way Scott expects it to be handled. He guides me through this process. When I don't know what path to take he shows me the way. I hope one day Laynie and I can sit and remember the three years of her life where we tried to give her the world. I wish I could spend more time with her - maybe someday. We miss her dearly just as much as we miss her Daddy.

I have things I do to keep the pain at bay when I've got to get through another event. I don't know when the events that we had planned will stop hitting me in the face but someday they will be fewer. We had plans beyond our retirement. We had plans on tormenting the staff in the nursing home. I don't want to make it that far but I don't get to pick my expiration day. So I will push through our plans and learn how to make new ones.

Tonight I met my good friend and her daughter for my Mexican dinner fix at Ninfas. We sat talking once again! We can keep talking for hours. It got me through to the time Scott and I should be on a flight from DFW to LA and then onto Fiji. As we were talking she shared that she had been out to the cemetery where Scott is buried. There is an old section and a new section. She was in the old section doing some genealogy research when she felt a calling to go to the new section. She didn't go to the graveside at the funeral. She didn't know where he is buried.

She drove with her family straight to his grave. She felt as if she was pulled to be there, as if he was pulling her to be there. She got out of the car with her daughter. Then her daughter went back to the car. She stood there talking to him. She asked what he needed from her. She told him she was checking on me and was there if I needed her. He just needed to help us along. I know the pull she was feeling. I feel it daily. So tonight he sent us together so that I didn't have to make it through all my what ifs along. His love is powerful. I will take these treasures from Scott. He is here. He will love me to infinity and beyond and I will love him bunches of circles. My heart I love you if flowing into my head. He will continue to make my life magical.