Magical

I got up and went today but it was not easy. Not because of grief per se but more because I'm exhausted. I guess that is really the grief then.

"We cannot do everything at once but we can do something at once." - Calvin Coolidge

I'm trying to do something one at a time. I don't always know what I'm doing but at least I am doing something. To be honest I'm not sure what it was today but I'm sure I did something. Oh wait I went to work and treated my patients. Granted I was there until almost 7pm because I had trouble being inspired to get out of my chair at my desk. I came home and nuked a frozen breakfast burrito and let my bobo planted on the couch. Now I will finish this and head to bed.

I want to keep living. I want to be happy without taking meds to smile and sleep. I want to go places and live the life Scott wanted us to live together. This Saturday I was supposed to be on a plane to Fiji with Scott. He was like a kid in a candy store with all this stuff. I was excited but was trying to live in what we had but he took me along so I know I was just as excited as he was. I can make it through these milestones and find a way to make plans for new ones.

They are happening I just don't care so much for all of them. Not that I want to offended anyone but well just hard to make it through stuff. I know he's here I know he wants me happy. I know that there will never be another person to fill my his spot in my heart. The power of love is beyond words. It knows no boundaries or places to stop. It is endless just like the circle.

So with that thought I leave you to ponder the love in your life and know there are not ways to create a fence for the love. Find all those you love and feel the immense satisfaction in love without rules or expectations. It is truly magical to love that way.