Magical Package

What a week this has been. I'm worn out but my desk at work has many fewer to do tasks. I still have trouble multitasking but I am making decisions faster. I'm just such an OCD personality sometimes that if things aren't organized my mind gets muddled. I'm making it and prioritizing what needs to be done. I like having projects and there will be ongoing projects because well isn't that life.

I have a new little travel buddy. My friend from grade school, Jr. high and high school is a Disney buff just like me. I know there are more of you out there. She and her family went to WDW in June over Scott's birthday. She knows about our trips and asked if there was anything she could do for me while I was there. My only request was of a photo of Buzz and to ride Pirates of the Caribbean. This last week I received a care package in the mail. I got my own little stuffed Buzz to hug and a photo her husband took of Buzz for me. Also in the box was the most amazing photo by my new favorite photographer, John Knell, her husband. He has his own page on Facebook, Knell StudioWorks. Check it out!!! John took this photo that immediately captured my heart. It was taken after a rain shower in the Magic Kingdom and a rainbow had formed right over Cinderella's castle. John gave me this photo because of the powerful positive emotions and how touched I was by the Magic from this exact moment.

Life still has meaning. I would never trade the three magical years Scott and I shared. If I never find love with another I'm truly okay with that because I know the power of real love and what life is supposed to be for me. I wish that for each of you and that you never loose the joy of life. I'm trying to find joy on my own. I can see it in little things but the magic is hard to create sometimes. I will find a way to get through the panic attacks that still hit even with meds. I will find a way to be outside my turtle shell a little more as time goes along. Right now it is okay to have the shell to protect my fragile heart. I believe that with everything I know that life is too short to have regrets, anger or hurt. I believe in the power of love in all that we are and all that we will achieve. Love is the only thing we can take with us and how we approach any difficulty makes us stronger or kills us! I may have days that I want to be with Scott but I don't get to make that decision so I have to keep trying to live forward.