Tonight my darling daughter had a great friend's gift exchange party at our house. What a better way to immerse myself into something new then a bunch of beautiful, smart, funny 14 and 15 year old girls celebrating with the joy the spirit the holiday should be celebrated! I should just stop here and call Christmas good. It was so much fun watching them.
After the party was over Holly and Hannah were eagerly awaiting their Christmas present from me. You see I found something very special and magical that will be a great time for all three of us. I bought the girls Wicked tickets for March. The tickets are the best - second row from the stage! Yes I can finally see the stage and costumes with my poor vision it will be nice to see all the detail of the costumes. I can find the joy in the beautiful music and I'm sure cry again but it's good. Scott changed my life for the good.
So I can share a special place that Scott and I shared. I can do something with him in my heart and soul. I will be able to enjoy a magical location that we shared more amazing times together both with and without the girls. I love my memories of our times together on the Riverwalk and the Majestic theater. I will make it and now I have another milestone to look forward to at the time we should have been in DisneyWorld with our girls but I will make memories that weren't expected. I'm trying to live forward.
I also received another beautiful magical handmade gift tonight from my friend Angela. She painted the most beautiful ornaments for our tree. Scott's ornament made my eyes fill with tears and down my cheeks. I'm not sure how I'm making it these days before Christmas but I am trying. I'm here and living in the present with the arms of love and light surrounding me. How else can I explain all the support I am receiving. I will live forward one moment at time. I will find a way to get to the place I need to be. The place I know Scott wants me to be. The place Hannah needs me to be. Now if I can just be where I want to be not today but someday.
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