Family, Love and Sharing

It is one week until Christmas and I've been a busy little elf. Although I'm jumping from activity to activity and not completing any task fully. I am the super organized stick to a task and have the routines down to keep everything on track and moving along. This year is just day by day. I think I'm getting things done but at this point I can't really tell you what things are done. Oh wait I know my positive note for the day!! I bought and wrapped my gift exchange gift for work. That party is on Monday. I also finished the wrapping of Laynie's gifts that Hannah had started. I also started wrapping Hannah's gifts. No she really doesn't have to wrap her own gifts.

I am also making a very special never-ending gift for Laynie. I started that tonight and I need to finish it tomorrow. I also need to finish my Tagrel secret Santa gift and get it in the mail. I also braved the wilds of Walmart on my own this evening! I am very surprised I came out alive. Crazy people - I was in there for over an hour. I worked very hard not to have a panic attack. I braved the mall and finished Hannah's gift buying. I can't believe all I have done this year. Maybe I'm doing things from auto pilot but some thought has been required. Gift giving is a very personal experience for me. Lots of my heart goes into a gift. I can't just buy something without love. I think that is very true this year. Not a single gift has been purchased without love.

I have so many gifts that have been given to me over the years by some fantastic people. I treasure those gifts but right now I'm fixated on Scott's gifts. Tonight I was looking in my paper cabinet for a sheet of paper when I found a gift I gave Scott several years ago. It wasn't anything big and was something I gave all the people who worked with me but he asked me to hold onto it until we were together. I'd forgotten all about it. It was a tearful moment. I lost my dad when I was 30. I have a present he was to receive that never made it to him. It is still wrapped in the paper from all those years ago. It goes under the tree each year and then packed back up. I think tonight I had the question I've been asking answered. I found the gift for Scott that will join my Dad's gift. They will both continue to always be part of Christmas. Even as the journey to live forward continues they are both with me. Different feeling of grief for each one of them but I will never stop loving them. Christmastime is for family, love and sharing. I'm trying to keep that spirit in my heart.