Allowing the Magic

Wherever I go, whatever I do, I am still a small town girl. I am very happy with my most of my life. I can't change the things I'm unhappy with so I try my hardest to smile and live forward. I love to travel but it is always so nice to return home, even if I still haven't taken down the Christmas tree. The cats are always happy to see me.

Each time I go and do something it gives me strength to keep growing and learning to be in the moment of my life. It is my life to live and I am the only one who can make me happy. However, this time I have realized that the feeling of someone waiting for you at home can't be replaced. You all know how I feel about travel. Life is nothing if you aren't doing something you enjoy and I want to know that when it is my time to join Scott, Hannah has memories and the knowledge that I love her and will go to the ends of earth for her. Over the past few years, Scott was here waiting if he wasn't with us. We texted, talked and just flat out communicated with thoughts. I miss that feeling of giving love and being loved. In the same breath I can also say I am my own person. I do create my own happiness but geez a hug and kiss when you get home are powerful!

So my life is being lived forward. I don't sit and dwell, not very often, on the memories. They happen to bring smiles and joy to my heart all the time. I am forever different but I will keep growing. I'm not just sitting in the house collecting cats and dust. I'm am refreshed to continue my daily journey. I can be flexible and whatever is to be is where I will be. Betsy keeps saying, "Magic happens when you least expect it and you have to be willing to change your plans." My heart is what matters. I may not be cute, little blonde, skinny girl I was in my twenties but that's just the outside. I stop and inhale the magic in each moment I am alive.

It is going to be okay. I still don't like it but it is okay. I continue to feel God and Scott in each day. The light and love that surrounds me makes my heart lighter and freer to live forward and love all my friends and family. There is a great big beautiful tomorrow out there!