Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Bags of Happiness

I'm ready for more birthday celebration! I'm finally so excited. It has been a slow process but I feel so very alive. There are so many things going on in my life but this is by far the most exciting! Why does it always seem like all of the stuff that has to be done in the world MUST be done before you leave on a vacation. I'm only going to be gone from work for two days!

Tonight I was actually dancing around the kitchen to the music Hannah was playing in the bathroom while she showered. I miss this feeling of alive! It doesn't happen very often but it really has been happening. Scott is still in my heart and my life. Trust me I think he will always be around but I live with that. Someday I will get to the point of living forward to being able to remove pictures from the walls but really it's okay if I don't right now! Who wants empty walls and closets.

I am making new memories. Enjoying time with new friends, old friends and friends who would be mad if I called them old. I write daily because my emotions are now so very different then they were 9.5 months ago. I feel like I'm accomplishing so very much. I have some new things I want to be able to do but waiting on someone else to make a decision. That list Scott and I made all those years ago sitting in our burger place, the Double-R, will get done. And who knew this year I would complete two of those check boxes. My heart is so full of happiness for this week of celebration and all of the other things that are making it worth living forward.

Happiness is in my own hands, it always has been but my heart just hurts a bit less these days and I can see the possibility of a future! I'm so happy my new feelings are happening on the celebration of the birth of my beautiful Hannah! Now lets get those bags packed and find some more happiness!

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