Grief is Fading

"Feeling better...I also felt a sense of betrayal of my husband, even though I rationally knew that sustained grief could be morbid. Because grief may become a substitute for the dead one, giving up our grief can be the greatest challenge of mourning." - Mary Jane Moffat

I am feeling better. I am not struggling to deal with all the grief. I am ready to try new things and experiences. That doesn't mean that I love Scott less. It will never mean that I have forgotten him. It does mean, however, that I have an understanding of what he truly wants for me; Happiness. He wants me to live my life and love my life.

It will be okay that I am living forward. Scott promised me love and he will never stop loving me. He just gets to meddle whenever he wants. I'm sure he will always love that! Really the radio thing does get a bit old sometimes. I've outsmarted him though, I put it on the classical station. It is all good my heart is happy. The love is there but the grief is fading. I know I will still have moments but I know how to make it.

So my next step is not feeling guilty for feeling happy except I have this new energy that makes sitting on the couch a lot less fun! I haven't watched House Hunters in a month! I haven't watched iCarly in three months. You see I'm gradually getting there. I can give up my grief. I don't have to give up loving Scott! I just happen to know a few secrets that some people never learn. I have to say I'm glad some people never have to learn them because they are truly very lucky. I continue my prayers. They will all be answered. I have faith in that power!