Blushes

Ahh the middle of the week. I am so looking forward to Friday. I'm not wishing my life away because I am lucky to have each day with my daughter. However, I am looking forward to spending quality time with her someplace new for us together. I love traveling with Hannah. She is so much fun and mature.

We have gone lots of places together just the two of us and with other people. I'm so very glad we have given her so many life experiences. That is the positive that keeps me stepping forward each day. It helps me get to work and look a little bit to the future. I'm not ready to look that far beyond because it will be gone before I know it.

I don't want to be sitting here alone on the couch as the old cat lady four years from now. Scott gave me the joy to interact with others. I can see that change in myself. I really see it at work. Where else can I actually flirt and blush over the scooter dude. It is funny because I am learning that it is very different from Scott. The world stood still and there was never any learning it was as if we knew each other forever. I realized today that if this journey to living again includes dating that it has been almost two decades since I dated. Dating with Scott wasn't really dating. We spent so much time together for so long that we were never dating. It all just moved forward.

So it must be progress to be considering this as part of the process. Scott wants me to be happy. Right now I am finding my way but I do feel more alive as each day moves into another. I will not be jumping out there but I'm processing all of these thoughts. Living forward is a step by step momentum. To infinity and beyond