Monday Monday

It's Monday and well it's Monday. It's day 3 of the New Year. I keep busy with work and Hannah. I guess that means I have a routine. I don't like everything I do though. I guess I need to make some changes but what is that going to be. I'm up for suggestions.

Where should I start. The couch is getting worn in my spot but then I think about making a change and I panic. So I guess I will stick to the small steps. The next part of the my small steps is birthday celebration with Hannah. I'm thinking a change of place and a breather will make the next step easier. I'm finding out that I really miss who I was with Scott in my life.

He was silly, funny, loving, a practical joker and heart as big as well Texas. I miss that so much. I'm so boring without him here. Who else would sit on the couch right next to me and send me IM on Facebook when we can see each others screens. Today Rhonda and I were talking about mine and Scott's headstone. It has been something that I know needs to be done. I guess this week I will make it right for the girls to have a place for both our memories to be held in love. Laynie has to do that know. Hannah will not have to worry about all this stuff. I would love to make it so much if this wasn't the case for Laynie but all I can do is give her memories to know how much love Daddy, Hannah and I have for her. The cemetery isn't where Scott is. It is just the final resting place for his body. His body failed him but his soul is magical and his love is powerful. I will remember his love and I will always share that love.

I know what it will say. I now know what it should look like. The final step is to place the order and wait for it to be delivered. My physical body will someday rest with him just as my soul will join his in our castle. Now what to do in the meantime. Small steps someday the transformation will show to me.