Can I?

"Do not let your fire go out, sparked by irreplaceable spark. And the hopeless swamps of the not quite, the not yet, and the not at all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish. And lonely frustration for the life you deserved but never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists. It is real. It is possible. And it is yours."


I just swiped this off of Hannah's wall. I'm pretty sure she took it from ONE TREE HILL but don't ask me who originally said it. I'm not feeling so great. Not only do I feel like crap physically I feel even worse emotionally. I'm trying to make it but really just don't have the fight in me. I don't even feel like smiling or being flirty. Last night I even took my profile pic back to Scott and I. Geez how pitiful am I.

I keep trying to choose love which leads me to living forward but I'm not sure how I've even made it this far. I'm sitting here watching Hannah's show with her and the couple is getting married. I just don't get how we got to choose love and now here I am just trying to choose life. I have no answers tonight. I don't even know what questions to ask. So once again I will just ask to be surrounded by light and love, to guide me, protect me and show me the way. Maybe I can find living forward again, I just am feeling really sorry for myself. I need a focus, a plan and a place to be. I will keep searching my heart may still hurt. My heart will always hurt but I still have love to give.