Turning Left

This week my brain is dysfunctional. My synapes are firing all kinds of ways that aren't normal. I'm having trouble just thinking what I need to do while sitting at my desk. I move papers around really well but don't ask me to mutlti-task because something get screwed up. I can't tell you anything I did today except go to lunch with a few of my friends. Some of them just happen to be part of my staff.

"Someday, all of the sudden you will be able to make a left turn!" Really who knew this discussion could lead to a conversation that I really hate to make left turns. I don't know why! I can't explain it but I don't make left turns unless I'm forced to do so except with a light. This is the funniest reminder because Scott and I had this same discussion the very first time we had lunch together. Over the years he got a huge kick out of this bit of knowledge. Rhonda finds joy in this and now several more people laughed. Yes my friends you now know that I have other issues besides dealing with grief. It's okay I don't mind because it reminds me that it is great to have new memories of an old subject. See I'm learning to make left turns in my life.

I looked up today into laughing eyes and the world was a different color. Maybe there is a time when I can ride the lawn mower or even better go to the grocery store ALONE sooner then I thought! All that over chips/salsa and Mexican food! I felt like living and I felt like I was being protected. I truly enjoyed those feelings all from a table full of people who never met Scott. It is great to have a new life with pieces of the old one woven into it. I am a new person and I'm good with that today.

So with this new knowledge I will wait and see what continues in my life forward. It is going to be good to have memories and love of Scott but living a new life with new people. I am who I am because of my life then and now. I will make it learning to turn left. Just don't ask me to do left turns in the car! Emotions are much easier to make left turns! Surround me with your light and love, guide me, protect me and show me the way!