Rainbow Beads on a Bad Day

I kept it all together until I pulled in the driveway and Hannah unloaded the grocery store items from the car. I sat in the car sobbing. Now I have a nice headache and thnk I can cry for the rest of the night. I have eaten comfort foods; cheese, chocolate and yogurt! I really need a cheeseburger but I didn't stop. I was good. Let me backtrack...

This morning when I was done answering my first thing of the day work emails, trying to get ready for work I got a call to fix the sprinkler system. Not too bad but I really hope Scott makes sure they fix it right this time. I know you think I'm crazy but he's really super strong here right now. Even more wild things have been happening in the house but it's not scary for me. I go to the car and one of my tires seems to have a slow leak! I added some air! I own an air compressor!

I make it to work and I pull into a parking spot and scrape the car next to me. It wasn't a big deal wasn't any different then we've all seen before. I was in a hurry and was planning on telling the person as soon as I saw them. Well she goes nuts and acts like I drove off and wasn't going to tell her. Oh my is all I can say. I went and washed my car before the grocery store and what do you think disappeared!!!! Hardly visible. Really people a scratched car is not like losing your life in an accident. Enough said I move on but let's all call the police when you get your car scratched in a parking lot!

In between all that bit the funniest part was the dropped beads all over my office floor. I loved the rainbow day to lighten the mood. If I would have had time I think I would have sat in the floor and picked them all up one at a time. I wasn't the one to drop the beads but later today I was finding them in all kinds of places. I needed my rainbow today. What I wouldn't do for a Scott hug with that rainbow.

A bit more of the day and it was time to get my shot. I know I made it in time this week because I set my calendar alarm and it reminded me twice to leave work and get stuck like a pin cushion. One of the ladies at the desk noticed my engagement/wedding rings for the first time and asked me if I'd gotten married! Nope just my rings with Scott. I can't take them off! She said, "Good you should never have to take them off even if you do find someone else!" Wow she is right! Now I have more news. My doctor who saves my life all the time is leaving. What am I going to do? This is not good. I hate finding a new doctor! She is part of my life and I trust her completely! I'm cussing in my head but I won't be saying the words.

I made it home, grabbed Hannah and we did our grocery store run. What will I do without my grocery buddy sighing, freezing and complaining next to me as we find the things we need. I may have to buy a restaurant just to eat or hire a chef! Anyone have any recommendations. Single, male chef that might be a good idea !!! We made it home with not much hassle and I sat in the driveway and cried. Over what? I'm not sure. I opened the garage door and I could see a life, a love and meanings that are gone. A box of stuff from his truck that I need to clean out, a Christmas tree exactly where he left it and a lawn mower he bought me. Who cries over a lawn mower?

I need a break from life. I asked a friend today to get me out of the building for lunch sometime this week but I think I need to stay hidden all week or at the very least take an extra dose of my panic meds! Surprisingly in all this I was still smiling on the outside. I'm wilting and crumbling but I will pick myself up off the ground and live again. As I was sitting there in the car the neighbor kitty was sitting on my sunroof. I looked up and saw kitty bobo! I tapped the glass and she started playing with me. I found a playful moment and a way to smile through the tears. Scott wants me to succeed and find happiness. If that has to come in a little moment of rainbow beads or kitty bobos then I'll take the sunshine!