WICKEDly Musical Day

Today was a WICKEDly musical day. I'm sad, happy, depressed and joyful all in one moment. The girls are funny and fun to be with. I enjoy the silly things that happen like waking up with the wind blowing so hard on our top floor balcony windows that is sounded like a ghost and seeing them cuddling sound asleep! They were cold is what I heard. Then at dinner tonight Holly dropped mashed potatoes in Hannah's shoe! The things they say are just a hoot. I wish I had half as much energy as they have.

I've said this before and I'll say it again. San Antonio holds so many memories for all of us. I think next to Disney World it is one of my favorite places to be. I'm not sure I could live here but Scott and I talked about it often. I know there are many places and things to do here that we haven't even touched. It just seems like when we come down here we have specific things to do.

WICKED was beautiful! I can and will watch this over and over! Someday I will make it to Broadway to see it there. It still makes me miss him so very much. He did change my life "For Good." I was able to see the costuming, peer backstage into the wings and look into the pit from our seats. Elphaba and I made eye contact multiple times because I was in the part of the audience she could see from stage. It was nice at the end to be applauding, they pulled the house lights up and she looked at me and said "thank you!" She doesn't know me but my face must have been pure joy!

After the show we were in no hurry to leave so we made our way over to the Alamo. I love being the Human GPS. Poor Hannah kept saying, "Where are we going!!!" Then when we got there she said, "Oh!" My poor kid has zero sense of direction. I'm really afraid to let her drive. As we were leaving downtown we drove past the Grand Hyatt where Scott and I stayed with friends when we all went to Cowboy's Training Camp. It is funny because Scott and I did several sports related things together on the Riverwalk! Crazy but I miss it all. Even last night at dinner when we met friends on the way down. Talk was briefly of baseball and Hannah was clueless but I understood! I miss my human sports encyclopedia! When we passed the Grand I texted one of Scott's friends and told him thank you for including us. It is a great memory. The hardest part for me is that there will never be another with him. I am making new ones though.

Later when it was time for dinner something was said about Mexican food. We ate that last night but I'm always up for that! All my friends know I would eat it seven days a week if I could. I thought is there another guy out there who will understand and take care of me! Feed me chocolate and Mexican food to keep me happy. I know it is more then that but it was a funny thought!! Someday maybe I will have it in me to find out. As the evening wore on. I started to fizzle out, as I'm sure we all do after so much going on. I sat in the restaurant and could feel myself turning inward into my own thoughts. Those are the times when Scott would take my hand, let me be and make sure I was taken care of. I take care of so many things for so many different people. Tonight I just wanted to be held up.

I started to fall apart when we requested extra blankets for the girls and they brought more sheets. The guy said this is all I have I don't have keys to housekeeping! I kept my cool. I was actually quite surprised because I am about to meltdown for over stimulation after that restaurant. They did bring the girls blankets and I went to Wal-mart to buy an iPhone charger. Why do I ALWAYS end up at Wal-mart on vacation? I can't answer that but I know I'm trying to live forward and not shroud myself in the past. I have people who make me smile and laugh. I have people who love me but we all know it isn't the same! That silent communication. To look at someone and just know they can read your thoughts. Someday when I'm ready but that's not today or even tomorrow. I am further then I thought I would ever be and for that I hold my head high and share my biggest smile!

Scott you changed my heart "For Good!" to infinity and beyond! You will find a way to keep holding me up and sending people to take care of me! I have no doubts. I prayer for God's light and love to guide me, protect me and show me the way. Please pray for that for me! I still need all the prayers I can get.