Rocky

I think I should have taken more days off! Tomorrow I will survive. I don't want to but I don't have a choice. Right now I'm not going to think about the day. I am going to see if something good happens around the corner. I made new crazy memories with two beautiful teen girls. Makes me feel like Rocky just a different kind of battle!

I have been handling all of the things thrown my way on my journey in my own time and in my own way. I don't know if I want to face anything more right now but I guess I will. Several times I have heard that I get to keep doing what I'm doing for myself on my own timeline.

I just saw a commercial that said, "What would you do if you knew you only had eight minutes to live?" I often wonder about stuff like that. I think more so since Scott died. I know for a fact that when he suffered his last seizure he knew nothing about what was happening. He wouldn't have seen anything or comprehended anything. I was there for him when he had one after being sick and dehydrated that lasted for 15 minutes. I don't understand why he had his last one because we had such a great weekend and all was well in our world. That darn last hour. I know there are somethings that I can't change. This will forever be the hurdle I jump each day. I know he left the house on his own but I get to deal with all that happened after that. I have to say my answer to eight minutes left to live would be to say I love you to all and rejoice in prayer!

I want to be okay for this week with all my happy memories and living forward. I want to make new memories. I want to feel special and loved. I always feel love - it just seems to be with me all the time. It makes me feel like there is nothing in this world that can't be fixed. I know that isn't true but I know in all of my soul that Scott loves me and wants me to be happy. He wants me to remember the yesterdays and live forward into new tomorrows! I can do this. I will continue with one foot in front of the other! Light and Love! Light and Love!